Everyone needs a laugh just about now, right? Gas is skyrocketing and our very way of life in the USA is in danger of collapsing ... But, if you can't laugh, at least you have your health. Or something like that; I never was very good at turning a witty phrase. And I'm still getting over the shock of finding out there really is a car company in India called, of all things, Tata. (Apparently, judging by the custom artwork, these folks are looking for a big-time Red Bull sponsorship ... Can you imagine seeing this monstrosity at the airport, all decked out in these crazy colors with the blinking lights on the rear deck? I'd wonder in what country we were landing ...).
So, if this press release had come across our transom on April 1st, I'd have no problem believing it for what it was: A joke. But to tell you the truth, I can't say whether or not this stuff is for real or a late April Fool's Day take. Now, every other auto website in the world has run with it, treating it like every other press release they get every day and electronically post it without reading it ... very much, apparently (didn't you ever wonder why those sites all have the same so-called news, with absolutely no perspective, opinion, background or explanation?). At this site, we tend to look at these kinds of things with a slightly more jaundiced eye, which no doubt comes from more than 30 years in the business ... and is, trust me, one of the very, very few things even slightly positive about getting older.
Here's a few details we gleaned from our research: Prices will start around Euro 125,000, which is just a tic under USD$200,000. One engine choice: A 27-litre supercharged V12 Merlin engine, produced by Rolls-Royce for airplanes, producing, they say, over 1,500 horsepower. Also, one can choose from a Land Rover-built V8 4.6 liter making 235 horsepower, a 5.0 liter producing 280 horses, or, as long as you're spending all those Euros, why not be a real man and double-up that V8 and make the V16 it's screaming for! Come on, buddy ... You can't afford to look cheap to your friends! And if you do go that route, your very own V16 can be made into an 8-litre making 420 horsepower, or a massive, throbbing, bucking 10-litre producing a very necessary 700 horses. And we still don't believe a thing about this Longnose. (Only thing missing in these photos is a lion laying on the engine hood).
We've done our usual due diligence, and apart from the scant, few details described above, have been able to find out zip, zero and just about 
nothing about the companies named in this release. If you know about them, please let us know! In the meantime, we'll print their nice photos (which appear to be not-very-well-modified Hot Wheels, at best) and print a lot of their really long press release, and hope everyone can get some much-needed automotive enjoyment. And note: There is no price mentioned, nor any date when production might begin ... Only that each one of their Longnose models will be designed and styled, inside and even outside, to allow the buyer to have real input into their new car (or truck?).
Ready? Here goes ... and remember ... we're running this completely 'as is' from the car-maker:
2008 Bell Aurens Longnose Concept - Full of Character
Slowly the heavy roller shutter opens and the sun eliminates inch by inch the shadows from a familiar face. Distinctive, a glance out of narrowly positioned headlights, framed by a pair of broad, vigorous wings and a fender that lives up to its name. Nothing distracts from the clear, self-confident facial expression that in an instance captures even novices in the fraternity of Land Rover enthusiasts. This face has written automotive history. As a synonym for endurance and functionality. Character defining for generations of automotive grandchild’s in its almost provocative reduction to the absolute essential. (Black and brown might be the new two-tone. Nyah, Probably not).
By the time the engine raises its sonorous, powerful voice for the first time even the most experienced Land Rover owner will listen closely and take a closer look.
One look onto this very special offroadster is enough to get the impression one had missed out on something for centuries in the history of classic British automobiles. So consequently stylish and consequential comes this evolution of a Series Land Rover 109 that one is likely to search for drafts or indications of such a special edition in the archives of the 60ties and 70ties of this traditional brand from Solihull.
Truly an offroader from the front fender to the rear lights – yet still a roadster. Who ever searched for evidence that cross-over can be an art in itself – here is the answer.
Click below to find out more about the Bell Aurens Longnose Concept, and for the funniest automotive-related paragraph we've read in some time ...
Ready for the great 'graph? Here it is, and more of the release:
Edward would have driven Wallis Simpson in a Bell Aurens Longnose to private outings. Lawrence of Arabia would have stormed in the Bell Aurens Longnose towards Akaba. And General Montgomery would have parked it in front of the officers’ mess in El Alamain. (Ed. note - Now, you must admit, that was pretty good).
Tough luck for those honourable gentlemen, that this jewel sees the light of day of the automotive world so many years too late.
Who ever went greenlaning or city cruising with a Series Land Rover, windscreen down, will appreciate the fascination that lies in the idea of a cross-over between a classical British roadster and a thoroughbred offroader. Both types of car unite in the Bell Aurens Longnose in such a congenial way, that the labelling offroadster virtually springs to ones mind.
In the front optionally 8 or 12 cylinder care for propulsion to the physical limits. Far back at the end of a 
sheer endless bonnet the Bell Aurens offers a driver cell, which by combination of classic, noble material with minimalist equipment layout exceeds highest drivers’ expectations. The traditional leaf spring chassis reports every detail of the roads surface unvarnished and without any compromise to the drivers’ spine. The visible exhaust manifolds in the front wings care for a powerful visual appearance, which foreshadows the acoustical presence of the Longnose.
The manufactory (Ed. note: How can you get upset at a company which uses a word like "manufactory"?).
The search for a suitable design factory which would be able to stem a project like this can be compared to the search for a needle in a haystack. After all, the potential partner not only had to deliver the technical competence and skills but more important live up to the poise and attitude of the team. Right from the start it became clear that the job was mainly about distinguishing the many willing from only a few able among the contestants.
Thus it goes without saying that future owner of a Bell Aurens Longnose are formally invited to visit this very special manufactory while their individual automobile is built. And witness a process that in its exclusivity can only be phrased as the “birth of an automobile”. (End of press release).
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