Steve Parker Motoring / The Car Nut: IRL OPENER TRUE-TO-OLD-FORM, UNFORTUNATELY; ONLY FOUR CARS ON LEAD LAP AT END

EXCLUSIVE PHOTO ALBUM! 2009 GUMBALL RALLY 3000

See Steve's exclusive Gumball Rally video from NBC-TV's Whipnotic website (copy and paste): http://www.whipnotic.com/videos/viewvideo-558.html Over 120 gas-guzzling super-exotic sports cars, Hummers, Cadillac Escalade SUVs and an occasional interesting older car roared on May 2, 2009, from a California beach-side parking lot directly onto I-10, the Santa Monica Freeway, also known as the Christopher Columbus Transcontinental Highway, for the start of this year's Gumball Rally. The world's most politically-incorrect automotive street event, the Gumball Rally 3000, left Santa Monica (CA) Pier on Saturday, May 2, 2009 and headed toward its ultimate destination of Miami, FL eight days later. Participants reportedly paid $44,000 per car/team to enter the event. Though the Gumball stresses the skills of its drivers (and their cars) there are only two race track "special section" stops scheduled for the 3,000-mile long event, which will be run on public roads with all entrants subject to all highway rules and regulations. All photos (c) 2009 by www.SteveParker.com

March 30, 2008

IRL OPENER TRUE-TO-OLD-FORM, UNFORTUNATELY; ONLY FOUR CARS ON LEAD LAP AT END

OK, we wanted to like this race, we really, really did ... But it gave us so few reasons to do so. Admittedly, the super-fast "merger" of the Indy Racing League and Champ Car will take at least a season, maybe more, for the effects to be felt, but we'd hoped for a bit more professional racing in this first "combined" event. And, no, I have not been an open-wheel racer and know almost-nothing about going around a 1.5-mile race track at over 200 miles per hour (something which the ESPN announcers feel compelled to mention every five or ten seconds during their race promotion, uh, coverage), but, then again, I am not getting paid several million bucks a year to drive these cars, only to (thank goodness) watch them and comment, based on what we all see, and what we all know about the sport. (Photo Above --- Winner Scott Dixon, foreground, dices with Tony Kanaan).

Quick race report: Gainsco Auto Insurance 300, opening meet of the 2008 Indy Car season. Congratulations to winner Scott Dixon, followed by Marco Andretti (more on that below), Dan Wheldon, Helio Castroneves, Ed Carpenter, Danica Patrick, Ryan Hunter-Reay, Tony Kanaan, AJ Foyt IV and Vitor Meira, the race's Top Ten. All of that group were running Dallara chassis, Honda engines and Firestone tires ... No, no, now wait a second ... This just in: All 25 of the starting cars had that same chassis/engine/tire set-up! And, someone tell me again, why is this not a "spec series"? (Photo --- "Geez, I know I left it in here somewhere...", team owner Dale Coyne still gets down-and-dirty with his race cars).

So, let's see ... The first race of the suddenly-combined Indy Racing League and Champ Car series was run this evening at the 1.485-mile Homestead-Miami race track, with four cars actually completing 200 laps in front of several dozen fans. At the checkered flag, there were: Four cars on the lead lap, and 16 cars still running out of the (event-record) 25 which had started. Tony Kanaan's car, leading the race with only about 10 laps to go, was collected by a spinning Ernesto Viso (who?), resulting in Kanaan's right-front suspension and wheel assembly coming off the car, except for a carbon-fiber safety strap somehow holding it all together. Kanaan was permitted by Indy Car officials to run in the #1 position for several laps under the "yellow" condition necessitated by Viso's spin, while the track was cleared from the same incident which crippled Kanaan. (Photo --- Danica Patrick, in always-fashionable black, has her way with Ryan Hunter-Reay).

Ah, Indy Car ... Welcome back!

Of several other very familiar notes hit by the IRL, which, it is being reported, did not "merge with" but rather has "absorbed" Champ Car, much like worms might absorb dirt and leaves to make mulch, was that of the only Andretti in the race, one Marco, aged 21, son of Michael, grandson of Mario. And what was so familiar about his run? Young Marco led for 85 of the event's 200 laps, yet, as everyone connected to the event in any way, shape or form knew, he wouldn't win. Couldn't win. And Andretti placed second ... And 'twas ever thus. Ain't it? We won't even go into detail about the bad call made from the pit by Marco's boss and dad ... Which led directly to his second-place finish. See what we mean about "familiar"?

And that official IRL hottie, Danica Patrick? See "Andretti", above. Finished the race, brought the car home in one piece, and placed a "respectable" sixth, after starting second (but never the pole). Unofficial IRL hottie Milka Duna finished 20th after starting 16th and running almost 120 laps before problems befell her.

And here's the really big news, direct from the Indycar website:

"Kirsten Haglund, Miss America 2008, will be the grand marshal for the Honda Grand Prix of St. Petersburg on April 6. Haglund, 19, from Farmington Hills, Mich., is the National Goodwill Ambassador for the Children's Miracle Network. Haglund will participate in pre-race activities and will give the "start your engines" command." (Photo --- Doing his best 'Richard Nixon,' Scott Dixon claims victory at the end of the Miami-Homestead season-opener).

You just know Donald Trump will somehow be involved with that race ... If Miss America is there, The Super Sleaze himself, The Donald, can't be too far behind. After all, this is the racing series which gave new life to rock group KISS.