Steve Parker Motoring / The Car Nut: "CROSSFIRE" DIED LAST TUESDAY; DIDN'T YOU SEE IT ON THE NEWS?

When Daimler purchased Chrysler Corporation for a song in May of 1998 (well, it was for $40 billion in stock, so while no cash actually changed hands across the ocean, there was plenty of potential for everyone involved), one of the first points Mercedes chieftain Juergen E. Schrempp made was that there would never be Mercedes parts found on any Chrysler products, and likewise, Chrysler parts would never be used on any Mercedes product. As we all now know, that promise lasted about 10 minutes, or as soon as both companies woke-up one morning with a terrific hangover headache, approaching a migraine in intensity, and both realized what a stupid deal the entire "merger" had been.

To be truthful, and according to court records in suits brought by stockholders against some of the merger's principals, while Bob Eaton and (some of) the folks at Chrysler were drunk with the possibilities of this "merger" of two of the world's most gigantic corporations, Schrempp had already told plenty of people before the "merger" that Daimler looked at Chrysler as a "take-over" target, and absolutely not as a "merger partner". And he said that to even more people after the sale (or merger, if you like) was consummated. Soon after the two companies did get together, some of the best people at Chrysler left the company, especially some of their "small car" manufacturing experts, Chrysler's small car-building prowess having been one of the heavily touted reasons for Daimler's desire to get its tendrils into Chrysler.

The first production car to "share" parts from the two vast, worldwide corporate cultures was the Chrysler Crossfire. Today, it was announced that the Crossfire is being discontinued, and we're pretty certain that Jason Vines, the long-time Chrysler PR guru who last week left the new, privately-owned Chrysler, would have been pleased to have made the announcement of the death of the Crossfire, a death for a car which lasted only five years. In fact, the last Crossfire rolled off the assembly line earlier this week, Tuesday, December 18th, to be exact.

Crossfire was born as the answer to a question which no one had asked.

During its five-year lifespan, this "all-American" coupe was built in good-old American, uh, Germany, sold 80,000 total units in that time, but last year US sales accounted for only 8,216 Crossfires. That works out to about 22 cars a day in one year. For comparison, Honda and Toyota sell somewhere more than 1,130 Accords and Camrys --- Every single day of the year. Even with a 330-horsepower supercharged V6 and a snappy six-speed six or five-speed automatic, and in spite of its proper front engine/rear-wheel drive, Crossfire just never caught on.

There was no 2006 version of Crossfire (so be afraid if someone wants to give you a "great deal" on their "2006 Crossfire", just don't buy any Florida swampland or a bridge in Brooklyn from them) and the news was so, so sad for the final Crossfires: Both body styles offer base and Limited models, but the high-performance SRT-6 model, really the only reason to buy this car, was no longer available. The lone engine was the 215-hp Mercedes 3.2 liter, single overhead cam V6, and in a 3,010-pound vehicle, that just "ain't enuff power", as they say Down South. A 6-speed manual transmission was standard, and the 5-speed automatic was optional on Limited models. ABS, traction/antiskid control, and side airbags are standard on all Crossfires, which is a nice bunch of features on any vehicle. Curtain side airbags are unavailable, due to the convertible feature, but driver and passenger knee airbags were added for '07. Limited comes with leather upholstery and is available with a navigation system. A plug-in air compressor and a can of tire sealant are provided instead of a spare tire. Now, that's big of them, don't you think?

Prices for these last-year Crossfires range on the dealer's invoice from $29,510 to $38,955. A new Crossfire for the garage? Probably not, but a used Crossfire ... That could turn out to be one of the better used car buys in the country. A SRT-6 with the 6-speed stick, in coupe form (hardtop) only might make sense for the garage of a driver who can appreciate the 330-horsepower and front engine/rear drive configuration ... and buyers and their passenger can also enjoy the magnificent "whine" from 0 rpm and up the hp/torque scales, as the supercharger is immediately kicked into service via the engine's serpentine belt.

But the car was the sad, unwanted and, finally, bastard offspring of the Chrysler/Mercedes "merger", and shared its platform with the original Mercedes SLK roadster ... Which had already been replaced. No one wanted to take "credit" for it; actually, neither company would allow itself to take the blame. So buyers of the Crossfire got the first and now old SLK platform, and though the car was intro'd as a coupe-only, when a convertible version of Crossfire was finally made available (due, we assume, to some huge outcry from the American public, an outcry which we must have missed by being in the kitchen or somewhere else when it happened), the American-version car-buyer got the (much, much) lesser version of the German car.

SLK was one of the first modern cars outfitted with a true hardtop convertible, something so cool that traffic and pedestrians in intersections would stop cold when the SLK was put through its paces from the cabin; a simple twist of a knob and press of a button put the hardtop up or down, leaving room in the trunk for a couple of small bags, and, most importantly, in the top-up configuration, SLK maintained much of its structural integrity, could cross over several sets of railroad tracks without the drinks spilling out of their cupholders and offered driver and passenger a warm, dry and quiet ride.

But pity the poor Crossfire buyer. No hardtop convertible, but a manually-operated softtop which was more a throwback to the 1960s rather than into the future of the finest Germanic automotive architecture. Crossfire was cold inside if it were cold out, had trouble remaining dry inside if there were rain or snow outside, and with the top won, had, as a friend of mine once said, more shakes than McDonalds when crossing obstacles as small as the reflective Bots Dots found on most all modern highways (especially California's freeways, where many Crossfire owners put the car through its gears).

The Crossfire is the first of four models that Chrysler is cutting, and there are some fast cuts in the plans of the new owners (Cerebus, whose logo is that of the mythical three-headed monster which guards the gates of hell ... Which some people say is akin to visiting a Mercedes stockholders meeting). Rumors say that next to go are the Dodge Magnum (quite unfortunately), Chrysler PT Cruiser Convertible and Chrysler's Pacifica. We understand Chrysler is simply sending some of their zone managers across the USA to let the 15 people who actually bought a Pacifica know, in person, that they may have some trouble getting parts in another 15 years or so ...

How abrupt was the sale of Chrysler just four months ago? In a piece dated February 5th, 2007, in the Detroit News, writers Bill Vlasic, Josee Valcourt and Christine Tierney had an "Exclusive!" on the soon-to-be-announced "X Plan", an the story was entitled "Chrysler's Secret Comeback Plan". The first few lines of the piece said: "German shareholders may be clamoring for DaimlerChrysler AG to sell off the Chrysler Group, but they won't get their wish. Instead, a secret restructuring plan dubbed "Project X" is focused on transforming Chrysler into a smaller, more efficient automaker with closer ties than ever to its German parent company and the Mercedes-Benz luxury division. The Detroit News has learned that the plan, to be unveiled on Feb. 14, calls for unprecedented sharing of vehicle architectures and parts between Chrysler and Mercedes, including developing small cars and SUVs together."

Before I posted the above quotes from the DETROIT NEWS story, I had to re-check the source page to make sure it was not printed in the paper on April 1st ... Indeed, it was a real story, printed on a real date, not any kind of "April Fools" joke. But with the perfect 20/20 hindsight which we're all so lucky to have, even those first few lines sound comedic. And keep in mind, they were written only about 10 months ago; sometimes it's shocking how fast even the most gigantic companies can move --- when they want to do so.