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CHRYSLER: CYNICAL, OR JUST GARDEN-VARIETY STUPID?

In 2005, Chrysler staged a contest called "What Can You Hemi?" and for some reason, the final PR release concerning the contest has mysteriously re-appeared, almost three years to the day later. This contest is nearly as cynical as Chrysler's current "Let's Refuel America" campaign. Rather than build cars and trucks which Americans might buy, the best Chrysler has been able to do up to this point is offer to guarantee a price of $2.99 per gallon of gas or diesel fuel for three years, for up to 12,000 miles a year. At the bottom of  Chrysler's website featuring this scheme the company states: "These are challenging times. Fortunately, the Let's Refuel America Program is doing what it can to help." Well, we say "Balderdash!" to that corporate pessimistic claptrap. Chrysler does not have the money to conceive of and build the high-mileage cars and trucks Americans need. All of this is especially sorrowful because Chrysler, through their history, has been known as the "engineering" car-maker, and was respected for that. Walter P. Chrysler himself was a successful, highly-skilled engineer. And that sound you hear is Mr. Chrysler spinning in his grave. (Photos - Above, the Grand Prize winner on his Hemi-powered Big Wheel, Below, every suburban dad needs a Hemi-powered outdoor grill).

What we've found truly humorous is all the automotive websites around the world re-printing the following verbatim, without even noticing and certainly not questioning the "2005" date plastered all over it. If it's a joke on Chrysler's part, it's a really, really bad one. Even today, June 5th, Chrysler Corporation "upped" their offers if someone should actually buy one of their cars and trucks ... More on the $2.99 a gallon fuel offer and more cash-back, lower interest rates ... you name it. We may be witnessing the final death throes of Chrysler, and it's not pretty.

The following press release, after the jump, is one which was apparently first distributed by Chrysler in June, 2005, yet the company decided, for unknown reasons, to re-release it again ... today, June of 2008. The theme of the release is a contest called, "What Can You Hemi?" If someone in Chrysler did release this contest info, once again, on purpose, it makes the company appear to be so out-of-touch with what American drivers are up against right now that whoever approved its re-release, four years after this contest was over, should be shown the door.

Rumors abound this week about Chrysler being up for-sale, in whole or in part (especially its Jeep  component, which should have been sold two years ago). Let's back-track quickly: Cerberus, a high-flying Wall Street investment outfit, purchased Chrysler from Daimler in May, 2007, for $7.4 billion. This purchase was made by Cerberus after Daimler had paid $36 billion for the car-maker barely nine years earlier. The company paid nearly 81% less for it than Daimler had. By the way, the name Cerberus comes from the name of a three-headed dog which guards the gates of hell. Cerberus executives might now feel that they're on the wrong side of those gates, in any event, certainly not where they planned to be. The company made a brilliant hire in Jim Press, who had been Toyota's top America exec, to serve as president and vice-chairman. But they then screwed it all up, throwing good money after bad by hiring Bob Nardelli as Chrysler's chairman and CEO, essentially Press' boss. Nardelli had most-recently done his best to drive Home Depot into the grave, and had been thrown-off that company's own board of directors by his fellow directors, just a few months before getting the Chrysler gig. Why Press wasn't given full control of the company is a question for the ages.

If your question is: "Just what is a Hemi?" click anywhere on this line.

Click below to read the Chrysler PR piece and see more photos of the contest's "winners".

2009 CORVETTE ZR1: 638-HP, 205-MPH! YOWZAH!

"The 2009 Corvette ZR1 produces 638 horsepower." This is one of those stories which tear our automotive conscience and loyalties every which way but loose, to paraphrase the title of a really bad Clint Eastwood movie featuring him and a chimpanzee sharing cross-country driving duties in a big-rig truck. As we all know, all work and no play make Jack and Jill a boring couple. We don't have to preach to you, don't have to tell you about the price of gas, about the embarrassing lack of fuel-efficient cars and trucks made in America or how none of the Detroit Three seems really, truly committed, as yet, to providing high-mileage, low-emissions cars and trucks. And when Audi and BMW, Volkswagen and Mercedes-Benz (see a "national" pattern here?) among others, begins selling new-generation turbo-diesel cars and trucks later this year in the US, Detroit will have even more egg on their face. Both Audi and Peugeot have been dominating world sports car endurance racing with 5-Liter, V12 turbo-diesel powerplants in their race cars. The Euro-diesels coming to a showroom near you this fall are fast, quiet, clean and smooth along with having the traditional diesel qualities of high-mileage and engines which, with regular maintenance, start to get "broken-in" at about 500,000 miles. And did we mention enough torque to pull not just a house trailer, but an entire house? (Artwork of ZR1 engine "ghost view" by David Kimble, the world's best).

The bright spot? Chevrolet sells about 35,000 Corvettes a year, almost an inconsequential number in the American market, which will see about 15,000,000 new cars and trucks sold in 2008. Of those 35,000 'Vettes, about 10%, or 3,500, will be Z06 models. And there will be even fewer of the all-new ZR1 models produced and sold. Just as a reminder, the Z06 is available as a coupe-only and comes with a 505-hp 7.0-liter V8 and mandatory 6-speed manual transmission. It also has specific suspension tuning, tires, and brakes. The 2008 "427 Limited Edition," which is a Z06 with some extra safety and convenience fetaures, is priced at almost $84,000. This means the 2009 ZR1 will base-price for near or over $100,000.

So, all things considered, the ZR1 will be loud, frighteningly fast, have slot-car-like handling, get lousy mileage, produce more emissions than they have a right to make and Chevrolet will probably have to sell 100 Aveos to each ZR1 to keep Chevy legal when it comes to the division's CAFE corporate average fuel requirements) standards. But you know what? With fewer than 3,000 of them planned to be sold, we say: Go for it! At least some people are having some fun out there!

Here's how Chevy described all the excitement, with an occasional note from us here at SteveParker.com: When it was introduced at the Detroit Auto Show earlier this year, the 2009 Chevrolet Corvette ZR1’s power was estimated at 100 horsepower for each of its 6.2 liters of displacement. GM Powertrain has completed SAE certification of the ZR1’s supercharged LS9 V-8 and the results exceed the estimate: 638 horsepower (476 kW) and 604 lb.-ft. of torque (819 Nm).

The LS9’s output is nearly 103 horses per liter, or just about 1.7 horses for each of the engine’s 376 cubic inches. It is unquestionably the most powerful automotive production engine ever manufactured by General Motors and enables the Corvette ZR1 to achieve a top speed of more than 200 mph (322 km/h). In fact, on a GM employee website, Chevy engineers reported the ZR1 achieved almost 205-mph at a company test track in Germany.

The Corvette ZR1 goes on sale this summer. Its 638-hp supercharged engine is complemented in the chassis by heavy-duty components not offered in any other model, including a six-speed manual transmission with race-hardened gears and dual-disc clutch technology that delivers exceptional clamping power and lower inertia, as well as strengthened axle components.

Fuel economy testing has not been completed, but engineers are confident the ZR1 will be the most fuel-efficient 600-plus-horsepower car on the market (and how many of those are there "on the market" anyway?).

The LS9 engine is hand-built by specially trained technicians at GM’s Performance Build Center in Wixom, Mich. It is a unique, small-volume engine production facility that also builds the Chevrolet Corvette Z06’s LS7 engine and other high-performance GM production engines.

The key enabler of the LS9’s performance is the industry’s first production application of a new, positive- displacement Roots-type supercharger that has a unique four-lobe rotor design. Its design promotes quieter and more efficient performance, while the large, 2.3-liter displacement ensures adequate air volume at high rpm. Maximum boost pressure is 10.5 psi (0.72 bar). It is teamed with an integrated charge cooling system that reduces inlet air temperature for maximum performance.

A raised hood provides adequate clearance for the LS9, while a polycarbonate window in the hood provides a view of the engine beneath it.

Click below to read more details about the 638-hp, 604-lb. ft. of torque, 205-mph 2009 Chevrolet Corvette ZR1!

KURT BUSCH COPS DODGE VIPER #25,000

Kurt Busch got a pretty cool gift this week --- The 25,000th Dodge Viper. He got it right off the assembly line, with the company chief handing him the keys.

When you drive as many different cars and trucks as we do in order to be able to speak and write reasonably authoritatively and accurately about them all, readers and viewers might think that it gets to be a rather blasé' occurrence, driving all these vehicles and changing into another one every week or so. But, if you're doing your job right, in fact, doing any job right, it never gets old, never gets unexciting and/or uninteresting and one never becomes jaded or blasé'.  And if you do, no matter the job, it's time to find a new profession. (Photo - Bob Nardelli (literally, "the suit") hands the keys to Kurt Busch; and is it me, or does Nardelli looks like one of the sleaziest used car salesmen you've ever seen? Let us know! Remember to click on the photos to see them in a much larger format).

Over the years of getting into and out of so many cars and trucks (a minimum of about 50 annually ... Now multiply that by 35 ... And it's no wonder my back is bad!), you develop, in addition to all the objective testing criteria which must be understood and translated into understandable English, one also develops some other methods of judging a vehicle. And one of the most-important of these subjective areas of vehicle testing is: Other people's reactions. And without a doubt, with absolutely no question any part of the equation, the very first Dodge Viper I ever drove was, and remains, the single most-admired car I've ever driven on public roads (some of  the cars I've driven on race tracks would have brought even more attention, but often they weren't street-legal). Judging by the number of horn honks, thumbs-up, waves, "ok" signs, smiles, shouts and more, from every kind of person of every age, was overwhelming. Dodge, it was obvious, had hit on something remarkable. Even if it was terribly uncomfortable to drive!

I even remember the day ... it must have been in the summer of 1992 (thanks to the PR release below for helping me remember), and I was headed south on the 405 (San Diego) Freeway, top down, driving from Santa Monica to somewhere in Orange County in the late afternoon. It was what some people call "a moment in time" and today, some 26 years later, I remember it as clearly and completely as if it were still happening.

But Viper's end is soon to come, so when we got the following PR release this week, we decided to run with it, because Dodge still builds the beast, faster and definitely better in almost every way than that car I drove in '92, which, while they said it was a production car, felt barely more comfortable (and legal) than some of the worst prototypes I've driven, before and since. So here, with a few of our own observations, the latest on the Viper.

2008 Dodge Viper SRT10 - 25000 Vipers Loose on the Streets

Kurt Busch, driver of the No. 2 Miller Lite Dodge in the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series, was awarded the 25,000th Dodge Viper to roll off the line. Viper has been produced at Chrysler's Conner Avenue Assembly Plant, hand-built by Dodge craftpersons since 1992. Busch's all-new 2008 Dodge Viper SRT10 is powered by an 8.4-liter V-10 engine producing a ground-shaking 600-hp and 560 lb.-ft. of torque. (Photo - The 25,000th Dodge Viper comes off the line at Chrysler's Conner Avenue plant).

Yessir, THAT'S what we need more of in America! No doubt about it! Chrysler is also busy throwing their gas-guzzling V8 Hemi engine into as many products as possible, because "Hemi equals money" in the world of Chrysler, Dodge and Jeep. And with the company having just raised customer incentives to a record-setting $3,579 per vehicle (some races need to be lost), when you're giving away that much money, on average, every time the company actually manages to sell a car or truck, it's crucial to use every trick possible (and still legal) to raise the sticker price.